The more things change the more things stay the same. With all the departures from the Big 4, and to be honest most of them went to ManCity, I would like to think that someone else will break into the top 4 and wrestle away a Champions League from ManU, Chelsea, Liverpool or the Gunners. But I just can not see that happening. There has to be something said for "been there, done that" for the four mentioned above. Coaching experience, mental toughness, and just the shier experience of being in a title race and the experience of the Champions League breeds confidence when the chips are on the table. With all that being said it wouldn't come as a total surprise to see Aston Villa, Everton or ManCity push Arsenal (in my opinion the weakest of the Big 4) all the way for that fourth spot.
Onto the predictions. Starting with 20-11.
20. Burnley: To be honest I feel a little sorry for these guys. The club comes from a town the size of Terre Haute and will be outclassed by most of the league. The will be relegated by February.
19. Portsmouth: I might have been off by one year on my prediction of their demise but not this year. If Kanu is your front line striker your in trouble. Being regulated might not be a bad thing for this small club to start over and come on back up with a more talented and deeper club.
18. Wigan: Here comes a cross, a cross over from the EPL to the Championship. First year head coach, zero true threats up front and a weak midfield will lead this team by the hand all the way down to the relegation zone.
17. Birmingham City: Wow that was close. This team will survive by maybe a point or goal differential. I am a fan of seeing new blood in the EPL and i believe this team has what it takes to stay up and be a pest for the top ten teams all season long.
16. Hull City: Their coach might be a total D-Bag but this team has something that no one else has. JOZY ALTIDORE!!!!!!!!This young American will be a revelation for the whole EPL. He will provide Hull with the consistent scoring threat that they did not have last year. 8-12 goals for Mr. Altidore will see this team stay up for a second year in a row.
15. Wolves: This years reading. An entertaining team who attack with an organized defense. This team will try and play an attractive style and will have success doing it.
14. Stoke City: Mr Delap and Mr. "I wear a baseball cap to every game" Pulis will have a nice second season in the EPL and be able to be mildly successful with a third season as a reward.
13. Blackburn: Big Sam Allardyce is the king of keeping horrible teams in the EPL. This team actually have a few decent players. McCarthy, Roberts, Diouf to head the line up front and an organized defense with a good keeper, Paul Robinson.
12. Bolton: Gary Megson is a good coach who's only job is to keep this team in the EPL. If that is the one aim then Megson is your guy and this is your team. It is a big, tough, and disciplined team. With those aspects, add in some talent, this team will survive by feasting on the other horrible teams and be safe by a mile.
11. Sunderland: This is actually a pretty good team. It is full with a good mix of youth and experience with a great manager. This team will be an entertaining team with a successful season. Steve Bruce will get every drop of talent and work rate from this team and might even push for a top ten spot.
Some will disagree with these picks but one thing we can all agree on is the top ten in the EPL have so much more talent than these 10 that even though the final position might be different there is no question these are your bottom ten. The top ten tomorrow. Enjoy the season!!!!!!!!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
BPL 2009-2010 Predictions!
The time is near for another exciting season of the Barclay’s Premier League! I’m almost as excited as I was when I picked up a Blarp! Fart Toy the other day. You should pick one up. I'ts hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Anyway, I will try to keep this as short and concise as possible. Here we go boys and girls! Enjoy!
Predictions 20-11...
20. Birmingham
They couldn’t “handle the truth” as recently as two years ago, and now they think they are ready for more… give me a break. Will they be able to keep up with the big boys when it matters? My thought is a big, fat, NO. They will not be able to withstand the early season blows offered by the strength and pure class of teams above them. They lose early and often on their way to finishing last. Congratulations!!!
19. Portsmouth
Eugene thought for sure that Portsmouth would drop last year. He may have been wrong then, but he is certainly on to something now. They have no talent, no leaders, no backbone, and no reason to remain in the top flight. In fact, like Newcastle, it may do them some good to fall in order to revamp the squad with some young and talented stars before returning. Until then… look out below!!!
18. Wolves
I like them because of their name. That’s about it. They will be the third team I rout for besides my Gunners and Fulham. Seriously, I think this will be last year’s Hull City-type squad that comes out with a really good first half of the season before faltering later in the second half. Note: I have changed this pick as I originally had Wolverhampton in 15th place. Oh well. It's a shame too, because unlike the Tigers of Hull previously mentioned, the Wolves shall plummet into the Championship once again. Better luck next year!
17. Burnley
Here is another team that should be proud of last season’s accomplishments. And what do they get for their efforts? That’s right… a season-long ass-stomping!!! Note: After an early season win versus ManUnited, how can one possibly believe this team will drop? I have pushed them up from 18th to 17th... close to the drop, but barely surviving with a couple more unexpected wins under their belt.
16. Stoke City
I thought for sure the “StRokes” would have dropped last year, but they proved me wrong. Actually, Rory Delap proved us all wrong. I highly doubt they have the same luster as they did last season. It will be interesting to see if the “sophomore slump” will occur with them like it did Reading a couple seasons ago. I think they will be safe from relegation, but if any of the previous three teams surprises, then they could be caught in a mighty large pitfall pickle-o-rama. Uh...
15. Blackburn
The Rovers will either be the winners of or the runners-up of “The Most Boring Team to Watch” award. I would enjoy seeing them struggle even worse and possibly drop, but unfortunately they are too halfway decent for that to happen. Plus, they will fight and pressure teams into mistakes before scoring 90% of their goals on set pieces/crosses the ol' "Big Sam" stlye. That means we will see them again next year! Yay.
14. Bolton
We didn’t hear “A cross in from Bolton!” much last year, and I hope that this year they can begin to develop a better brand of soccer. They have some pretty good players and are led by a good coach. A higher finish is even possible if they can string together a streak of wins before the midway point of the season.
13. Wigan
I joined their bandwagon last year towards the end of the season for the sole reason that they were under the radar all season and still finished in a decent place in the league. They play a semi-attractive style and have good firepower up top. With a weak bottom half of the league (again), that should be exciting for any Wigan fan because a top ten finish is possible.
12. Sunderland
I really planned on placing Sunderland in the bottom three, but I changed my mind when I realized they simply have better players than some of the others below them. They won’t be much fun to watch because they lack discipline and a true manager/leader, but they will be good enough to finish safely. Note: This was another big change to my predictions. I must have been asleep when Steve Bruce took the job with them. Boys and girls, that changes quite a bit. Sunderland also picked up Darren Bent, who I think is a fantastic enhancement to their squad. Bent easily finished with double-figure goals and helps Sunderland to a top 12 placement.
11. Hull City
The arrival of Jozy Altidore boosted the Tigers 10 full spots on my poll!!! Just kidding. In all seriousness, he does make them better, but I think they would have had a good season regardless. After their guns-a-blazing start last year, Hull nearly got shot down before a stroke of luck saved them on the final match day. I believe that they will come back stronger and hungrier to prove that the second half of the season, not the first, was a fluke. Their manager is a quack, but his intensity has to keep the players on their toes. They could very easily be much lower in the rankings, but I have a feeling they will be here. By the way, Jozy nets six goals in his first BPL run. Note: Nothing has changed here. Jozy looked great his first time out and Hull look to be fitter, sharper, and more aggressive than before. Of course, injuries could be the bane of them, but if they stay healthy, I truly believe this team has got it in them to be really good.
10. West Ham
I like what West Ham has to offer in attack. They are a team that likes to push forward. With Zola at the helm, the players must play with a a lot of confidence. I remember a couple years ago when this team was even good with Curbishley, who was a bit of a stroke. Sure, there has been a lot of turnover since then, but the biggest turnover was attitude. Play on playas.
9. Aston Villa
What a disastrous run this team has been on since late March of last year. Their talented youth have not seemed to turn the corner just yet. The loss of Barry was a big blow. It will certainly take some time to settle without their fearless leader and captain. Unfortunately, it will take too long because they will drop fast out of the top 6 and UEFA Cup contention. Tiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmbeeeeeerrrr!!!
8. Fulham
Hodgson is the man. He has done some really nice things with the Cottagers. It's nice to see a team filled with hardworking players (no real big names or stars) come together and push their opponents each week. That subtle nuance has been the difference-maker to their success the past two years...from narrowly staying afloat in the Prem, to finishing with a UEFA Cup birth last year. Like my man K-Will says, "This is for Hodgsy, This is for Hodgsy... thank you Roy for helping us on this Earth, if it weren't for you, our success wouldn't have been birth!"
7. Everton
What a catastrophic way to begin your season. Arsenal absolutely smashed them. The whole Lescott thing didn't help, but now that he's gone, Everton can get back to playing team soccer. They have the quality and coaching to snap back and still have a nice season. I still believe they need more help up top though. Maybe they can splurge and get someone during the winter window. If not, and they can't get back to their defensive ways of the past, they may fall as far as 9th or 10th.
6. Man City
These guys are a potentially very very scary team. I don't think anyone doubts that. While they brought in loads of talent and have a capable manager, the biggest thing now is the belief that they can actually be good. They have been on a roll so far, and a win against Arsenal early on (this weekend at time of post) will certainly let people know they are for real. Adebayor, Tevez, Robinho, Barry, and... oh yeah, Steven Ireland (my favorite of all of those) make for a very difficult opponent. However, lack of solid defense and possible locker room problems could spell DOOM for the Yankees, I mean Citizens. I can only hope.
5. Liverpool
A slow start to the year has given me the indication that the Reds probably missed their chance last year to win the Prem. Gerrard and Torres are obviously class, but I think their midfield isn't as strong as it needs to be, with most of their man guys aging. I wouldn't be surprised to see them in the market big time come January, but it will depend on the owners and money, etc. I hate to say it, but I think Spurs will contend for a CL spot and will beat out Liverpool for the 4th and final place.
4. Tottenham
Can Harry "Houdini" work his magic once again at White Hart Lane? I believe he can, and he will, if he hasn't already. The re-acquisition of Keane, alongside Defoe and the rest of their cast of talented players, this looks to be the year that Spurs finally get back over the hump and finish in the top 4, at Liverpool's expense. Amazingly, just 8 months ago they were fighting to get out of the relegation zone due to some coaching that was ass stanky as a wet diaper, defense as questionable as Eugene's sexual affiliation, and confidence that was as shaky and nervous as a cock-whore in church. What does that equal? That's right... a bad combination my friends. However, all of those things (except their def- Dawson still plays right?) have apparently been corrected. I hate Spurs as much as I hate walking through K-Will's puddles... and that's bad.
3. Manchester United
You're probably thinking: Is it April Fool's Day? You're also probably thinking: Does Ace have shit for brains? Many would argue on the affirmative side for both of those questions, but I'm sorry to inform you that no, it isn't, and no, I don't. Having said that, the Red Devils have been in decent early season form. They beat a really good, talented, and deep Burnley team and totally dominated Arsenal from start to finish. Oh wait, hold on, this just in: Neither of those things happened. Anyway, the loss of Ronaldo may not seem to be such a big deal now, but wait awhile until the team collectively starts having bad games. Without those moments of brilliance by Ronaldo to bail them out of some games, they are going to start dropping a lot of would-be points that they are used to getting. Teams don't have to focus so much on that one player now and should be able to exploit their defense more often too. Yes, they are still the defending champs and should obviously not be overlooked because they still have loads of talent, but they are ABSOLUTELY weaker this year than last, and other teams are stronger... you do the math.
2. Chelsea
I originally had the Blues slated to finish in 1st place. They are ridiculously ruthless and efficient, have the best all-around striker in the league (in Drogba), and have a deep bench, like usual. The only thing that changed my mind is the fact that they are a bit older and therefore more injury-prone and susceptible to fatigue. Yes, they are indeed deep, but their talent certainly wanes once you get to their 14th-15th players. They will still contend until the final day because that's just who they are. However, I believe that they will still fall short to...
1. Arsenal
As a Gooner myself, some may think this is a biased pick, but I have a really hard time believing that Wenger's plan over the past few seasons is all for naught. I don't think that next year is their year... their time is now. Fabregas, RvP, and Arshavin may all be on the move come this time next year if no trophies surface again, but let's honest. The Gunners were nearly unbeatable again last year, only losing their minds in a brace of games late in the year (United, Spurs?). The loss of Adebayor is, in my opinion, easily becomes a plus for them with AA filling the void. It seems as though their def-mid problem has been taken care of with Song and Denilson more than capable. With Walcott back soon, along with a possible return by Rosicky, this team will only get stronger and deeper as the season wears on. Their defense seems shallow, but I think it only "seems" that way, with Kieran Gibbs waiting for his chance, and Eboue as "Mr. Versatile." Diaby and Song can both also play along the backline in defense if necessary. This is the year the Gunners prove that they belong in the top two once and for all. This is the year they bring home at least a brace of trophies.
Stay thirsty my friends.
And piss off... a balcony.
ACE
Predictions 20-11...
20. Birmingham
They couldn’t “handle the truth” as recently as two years ago, and now they think they are ready for more… give me a break. Will they be able to keep up with the big boys when it matters? My thought is a big, fat, NO. They will not be able to withstand the early season blows offered by the strength and pure class of teams above them. They lose early and often on their way to finishing last. Congratulations!!!
19. Portsmouth
Eugene thought for sure that Portsmouth would drop last year. He may have been wrong then, but he is certainly on to something now. They have no talent, no leaders, no backbone, and no reason to remain in the top flight. In fact, like Newcastle, it may do them some good to fall in order to revamp the squad with some young and talented stars before returning. Until then… look out below!!!
18. Wolves
I like them because of their name. That’s about it. They will be the third team I rout for besides my Gunners and Fulham. Seriously, I think this will be last year’s Hull City-type squad that comes out with a really good first half of the season before faltering later in the second half. Note: I have changed this pick as I originally had Wolverhampton in 15th place. Oh well. It's a shame too, because unlike the Tigers of Hull previously mentioned, the Wolves shall plummet into the Championship once again. Better luck next year!
17. Burnley
Here is another team that should be proud of last season’s accomplishments. And what do they get for their efforts? That’s right… a season-long ass-stomping!!! Note: After an early season win versus ManUnited, how can one possibly believe this team will drop? I have pushed them up from 18th to 17th... close to the drop, but barely surviving with a couple more unexpected wins under their belt.
16. Stoke City
I thought for sure the “StRokes” would have dropped last year, but they proved me wrong. Actually, Rory Delap proved us all wrong. I highly doubt they have the same luster as they did last season. It will be interesting to see if the “sophomore slump” will occur with them like it did Reading a couple seasons ago. I think they will be safe from relegation, but if any of the previous three teams surprises, then they could be caught in a mighty large pitfall pickle-o-rama. Uh...
15. Blackburn
The Rovers will either be the winners of or the runners-up of “The Most Boring Team to Watch” award. I would enjoy seeing them struggle even worse and possibly drop, but unfortunately they are too halfway decent for that to happen. Plus, they will fight and pressure teams into mistakes before scoring 90% of their goals on set pieces/crosses the ol' "Big Sam" stlye. That means we will see them again next year! Yay.
14. Bolton
We didn’t hear “A cross in from Bolton!” much last year, and I hope that this year they can begin to develop a better brand of soccer. They have some pretty good players and are led by a good coach. A higher finish is even possible if they can string together a streak of wins before the midway point of the season.
13. Wigan
I joined their bandwagon last year towards the end of the season for the sole reason that they were under the radar all season and still finished in a decent place in the league. They play a semi-attractive style and have good firepower up top. With a weak bottom half of the league (again), that should be exciting for any Wigan fan because a top ten finish is possible.
12. Sunderland
I really planned on placing Sunderland in the bottom three, but I changed my mind when I realized they simply have better players than some of the others below them. They won’t be much fun to watch because they lack discipline and a true manager/leader, but they will be good enough to finish safely. Note: This was another big change to my predictions. I must have been asleep when Steve Bruce took the job with them. Boys and girls, that changes quite a bit. Sunderland also picked up Darren Bent, who I think is a fantastic enhancement to their squad. Bent easily finished with double-figure goals and helps Sunderland to a top 12 placement.
11. Hull City
The arrival of Jozy Altidore boosted the Tigers 10 full spots on my poll!!! Just kidding. In all seriousness, he does make them better, but I think they would have had a good season regardless. After their guns-a-blazing start last year, Hull nearly got shot down before a stroke of luck saved them on the final match day. I believe that they will come back stronger and hungrier to prove that the second half of the season, not the first, was a fluke. Their manager is a quack, but his intensity has to keep the players on their toes. They could very easily be much lower in the rankings, but I have a feeling they will be here. By the way, Jozy nets six goals in his first BPL run. Note: Nothing has changed here. Jozy looked great his first time out and Hull look to be fitter, sharper, and more aggressive than before. Of course, injuries could be the bane of them, but if they stay healthy, I truly believe this team has got it in them to be really good.
10. West Ham
I like what West Ham has to offer in attack. They are a team that likes to push forward. With Zola at the helm, the players must play with a a lot of confidence. I remember a couple years ago when this team was even good with Curbishley, who was a bit of a stroke. Sure, there has been a lot of turnover since then, but the biggest turnover was attitude. Play on playas.
9. Aston Villa
What a disastrous run this team has been on since late March of last year. Their talented youth have not seemed to turn the corner just yet. The loss of Barry was a big blow. It will certainly take some time to settle without their fearless leader and captain. Unfortunately, it will take too long because they will drop fast out of the top 6 and UEFA Cup contention. Tiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmbeeeeeerrrr!!!
8. Fulham
Hodgson is the man. He has done some really nice things with the Cottagers. It's nice to see a team filled with hardworking players (no real big names or stars) come together and push their opponents each week. That subtle nuance has been the difference-maker to their success the past two years...from narrowly staying afloat in the Prem, to finishing with a UEFA Cup birth last year. Like my man K-Will says, "This is for Hodgsy, This is for Hodgsy... thank you Roy for helping us on this Earth, if it weren't for you, our success wouldn't have been birth!"
7. Everton
What a catastrophic way to begin your season. Arsenal absolutely smashed them. The whole Lescott thing didn't help, but now that he's gone, Everton can get back to playing team soccer. They have the quality and coaching to snap back and still have a nice season. I still believe they need more help up top though. Maybe they can splurge and get someone during the winter window. If not, and they can't get back to their defensive ways of the past, they may fall as far as 9th or 10th.
6. Man City
These guys are a potentially very very scary team. I don't think anyone doubts that. While they brought in loads of talent and have a capable manager, the biggest thing now is the belief that they can actually be good. They have been on a roll so far, and a win against Arsenal early on (this weekend at time of post) will certainly let people know they are for real. Adebayor, Tevez, Robinho, Barry, and... oh yeah, Steven Ireland (my favorite of all of those) make for a very difficult opponent. However, lack of solid defense and possible locker room problems could spell DOOM for the Yankees, I mean Citizens. I can only hope.
5. Liverpool
A slow start to the year has given me the indication that the Reds probably missed their chance last year to win the Prem. Gerrard and Torres are obviously class, but I think their midfield isn't as strong as it needs to be, with most of their man guys aging. I wouldn't be surprised to see them in the market big time come January, but it will depend on the owners and money, etc. I hate to say it, but I think Spurs will contend for a CL spot and will beat out Liverpool for the 4th and final place.
4. Tottenham
Can Harry "Houdini" work his magic once again at White Hart Lane? I believe he can, and he will, if he hasn't already. The re-acquisition of Keane, alongside Defoe and the rest of their cast of talented players, this looks to be the year that Spurs finally get back over the hump and finish in the top 4, at Liverpool's expense. Amazingly, just 8 months ago they were fighting to get out of the relegation zone due to some coaching that was ass stanky as a wet diaper, defense as questionable as Eugene's sexual affiliation, and confidence that was as shaky and nervous as a cock-whore in church. What does that equal? That's right... a bad combination my friends. However, all of those things (except their def- Dawson still plays right?) have apparently been corrected. I hate Spurs as much as I hate walking through K-Will's puddles... and that's bad.
3. Manchester United
You're probably thinking: Is it April Fool's Day? You're also probably thinking: Does Ace have shit for brains? Many would argue on the affirmative side for both of those questions, but I'm sorry to inform you that no, it isn't, and no, I don't. Having said that, the Red Devils have been in decent early season form. They beat a really good, talented, and deep Burnley team and totally dominated Arsenal from start to finish. Oh wait, hold on, this just in: Neither of those things happened. Anyway, the loss of Ronaldo may not seem to be such a big deal now, but wait awhile until the team collectively starts having bad games. Without those moments of brilliance by Ronaldo to bail them out of some games, they are going to start dropping a lot of would-be points that they are used to getting. Teams don't have to focus so much on that one player now and should be able to exploit their defense more often too. Yes, they are still the defending champs and should obviously not be overlooked because they still have loads of talent, but they are ABSOLUTELY weaker this year than last, and other teams are stronger... you do the math.
2. Chelsea
I originally had the Blues slated to finish in 1st place. They are ridiculously ruthless and efficient, have the best all-around striker in the league (in Drogba), and have a deep bench, like usual. The only thing that changed my mind is the fact that they are a bit older and therefore more injury-prone and susceptible to fatigue. Yes, they are indeed deep, but their talent certainly wanes once you get to their 14th-15th players. They will still contend until the final day because that's just who they are. However, I believe that they will still fall short to...
1. Arsenal
As a Gooner myself, some may think this is a biased pick, but I have a really hard time believing that Wenger's plan over the past few seasons is all for naught. I don't think that next year is their year... their time is now. Fabregas, RvP, and Arshavin may all be on the move come this time next year if no trophies surface again, but let's honest. The Gunners were nearly unbeatable again last year, only losing their minds in a brace of games late in the year (United, Spurs?). The loss of Adebayor is, in my opinion, easily becomes a plus for them with AA filling the void. It seems as though their def-mid problem has been taken care of with Song and Denilson more than capable. With Walcott back soon, along with a possible return by Rosicky, this team will only get stronger and deeper as the season wears on. Their defense seems shallow, but I think it only "seems" that way, with Kieran Gibbs waiting for his chance, and Eboue as "Mr. Versatile." Diaby and Song can both also play along the backline in defense if necessary. This is the year the Gunners prove that they belong in the top two once and for all. This is the year they bring home at least a brace of trophies.
Stay thirsty my friends.
And piss off... a balcony.
ACE
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